Much Better

This morning I was "in the dumps," as you might say, at the thought of the ex bringing his new girlfriend for Thanksgiving dinner.

Finally, I emailed Emily my ultimatum. "I'm calling him or I'm not going to Thanksgiving." Was the bottom line of my email.

Now one would think when they've made their mind to call someone it would be for one of two reasons. Either I had in mind what I was going to say. Or talking to him on the phone was quite the normal occurrence for us. But in reality, neither was true.

Despite Emily's persuasive argument to just email him, I stuck to my stubborn ways and gave him a call. I did scribble down an outline of what I wanted to say just before I called. I started with telling him that I was glad he had a new girlfriend. I also told him I was still confident with my decision to not be with him. Then I gave him the reason for my call, that I didn't know how his girlfriend would act around me given the fact that she may still hold a grudge against me for "stealing him away."

He reassured me that he had already talked to her about that and that it would be out of her character to do or say anything. There was a lot more said between the both of us, but that is the gist.

The one other thing I did say was that I would appreciate if we could be friends and when things come along in our lives us being able to share it with each other personally. Because I expressed my hatred of having to hear the news through facebook or especially through my brother. I know my brother doesn't enjoy that either. In many ways my brother is my father figure, and you could probably imagine what it would be like if your father had to update you on your ex's current life.

After the conversation was over I felt so much better about the whole situation. I think the most re-assuring part is that talking to him reaffirmed my decision to break up with him.

(Because if I can be honest, I was scared that part of why this bothered me was maybe due to me still having feelings for him. But now I feel very safe to say that is not the case. Which I was pretty sure I didn't still have feelings, but you just can never be too sure. But now I am.)

I think the ultimate sign of how much more relieved I feel is when I told Emily afterwards, "now I just want to make some fun drink for everyone to enjoy at Thanksgiving. Because nothing screams, I am very happy with the way my life is now and please don't be mad at me for something that happened years ago, more than someone serving a fun alcohol drink!"

And if the underlining purpose fails........... well, there is still the alcohol.