The Seasons Always Change

In college, Chelsea gave me a book called, "How to be Happy, dammit." It is a great book and I often think back to parts of it on a regular basis. But there is one part in particular that I always remember:


"We all come from the same Big Bubbling Pot of World Primordial Nature Stew. Because of this, you are governed- along with your Pot Mates (like plants and flowers and bananas)- under the same Laws of Primordial Nature.

These laws include the ever popular: Spring Law, Summer Law, Fall Law and Winter Law. You have tried your best to break these four laws... but they've been more successful at breaking you.

For instance, at some point in your year (every year) it seems your life hits a "winter phase" of coldness and darkness with very little growth and fertility- a phase that gets you thinking:

Oh no. That's it, my life is over. Everything good is gone.

The world sucks.

Only to find that... whaddayaknow...

Your winter phase ends and the Spring Law arrives to spring you free into a phase filled with renewal and growth and brightness. Then comes your summer phase, followed by fall, winter, spring, summer, etc... etc..."


We've always got to remember that things will get bad at times, but good times are around the corner. They always have been and always will be. Sometimes all you have is a tiny thread of hope to hold onto, but you will get there.

I am saying this because many things in my life are going through those seasonal changes. I just ended another year at school (which entailed several things: saying good-bye to the best group of students I've ever taught, saying good-bye to four great retiring teachers, hearing my terrible principal for the last time and finishing the relentless gardening project). Just a couple of months ago Emily moved to McAllen, which it has still not quite sunk in that she is not here (She was here a couple of weeks ago and this weekend, which will not always be the case).

But the biggest change in my life just came today. My boyfriend and I broke up. I wouldn't say that it came totally unexpected, and it definitely wasn't a nasty break-up. He has let me know exactly what he has been feeling all along, and his divorce (which officially hasn't even been a year) still weighs heavily on him. Like he said, "he's just not able to give me the love I deserve at this point in his life."

I get what he means but I don't understand it. I think the only way I could understand it is if I had been through a divorce myself. In my mind you don't give something up that you like because you aren't ready for it yet. If you let it go, it's gone and there is no getting it back. I feel you should hang onto it and you use that to help get you through the rough patch.

But I guess that is why I've always thought of him as way more mature relationship-wise than myself. Because I know he feels if he continues to date me while he is still suffering, it will only bring me down too. And instead of looking out for himself, he is looking out for me.

But that doesn't make me feel any better about this. I am still without the man I want to be with. I am still crying and missing him. Which feels way worse at this moment than whatever I would feel at any given moment if we continued dating.

So I might be sad now, but that is how life is. I may not be in the best part of my life, but the seasons always change. And I've got to remember to keep looking for spring, because it is just around the corner.

It's a Work in Progress

You've heard me talk about all that ligustrum. And if you haven't, well, I'm not going to post a link to it here because technology hates me tonight. But you are welcomed to go find it, I posted it last fall (I believe). Happy hunting.

Well tonight I was working on section 246F of the nightmare of a grant project I regrettingly signed on for. All I was going to do was update a few photos from my computer onto the website I have created.

I would like to think of myself as someone that is technologically savy. I always like to take on those challenges at work, the ones that sound like, "does anyone know how to ____________ with a computer?" If I was going to rate myself on my ability to solve those issues, I would say that I am 90% capable of solving those issues. But in actuality, I run about a 50% chance of solving those issues.

Like today, when someone said, "does anyone know how to delete photos off a camera?" I walked right into that trap. Turns out it wasn't deleting photos off a camera or a computer but off some contraption I have never seen. I was just about to give it a shot when I saw our technology director (I still have yet to have anyone tell me what her actual title is) walk in. I simply said, "well I am sure she knows the faster way to do it, I will just let her handle this." And proptly walked out.

But anyways, none of that has ANYTHING to do with my actual post. I was just going to download some photos onto the website I am creating. For most people, this would take between 20-30 minutes. But for me, it took 2 hours. Thank you internet world for not allowing pictures over a certain size to be on select website.

(A fact that a good old google search of "why won't my picture's upload to my website?" enlightened me on)

If I would have known this when I took the pictures, I would not have made them so big. But oh well.

Well anyways, I finally got my homework done. Now tomorrow, while my kiddos are testing (final test of the year!) I will be doing other updates and adding videos to the website.

And at the end of the day, we are having a site visit from one of the top (or the top for all I can tell) Service Learning directors. SCARY!!!

But I think we are ready. We did what we could do. And anyone looking at the website, I think, will appreciate the work we have done.

(Never mind the pages of work we didn't do.)

My purpose with this post is three-fold. 1) I wanted to write a post cause I haven't in a while, 2) I have invested quite some time in this project and would like to share it with the world, and 3) If I reference this lady to this website, I would like for it to at least have the appearance of people occationally visiting it.

So that's where you come in! Visit our website! I would love for you to look around. Please keep in mind I plan on doing a great deal to it tomorrow. So check back after then and be prepared for the full story and more videos.

I'm so proud of the work the kids have done! I hope to share their story, but some things are going to be hard to put on there. Like how they built the garden beds from scratch (wooden boards, screws and tools was all we started with)! And how they have spent so many hours at the park in the rain and heat removing invasives and planting natives. How they went from scratch to making an entire video on their own! It is great to finally start to see the fruits of our efforts!!!