Let's Face It...I'm No Julia Roberts.

As I have maybe mentioned like once or twice (or maybe a thousand times) the Virginians moved here to makes movies. I know I have linked a few of their shorts on here. If you ever had the desire to see more, they have a website, whodoyouknowhere.com that you could visit. Some of their stuff is pretty funny and creative (Some of it can be pretty gross. Stay away from any of the shorts that have scandalous names.).



But I have always been fascinated by their movie making and how they make them. (Actually, in movie making in general. But especially theirs, because it is people we know and party with. So it's seems fascinating to me that they can get serious for long enough to accomplish filming an entire short film and with pretty good quality.)



So this past weekend they were shooting another short. I got involved because I went on a happy hour boat ride on Lake Austin with Emily Friday night (which was really fun, BTW). She had been asked by one of the guys to get a wheel chair from the doctor's office she works at. Since I live closer to them, she gave it to me to give to them. When current/former interest called in regards to picking up the wheel chair from me, he asked if I would be interested in being an extra in their film.



Are you kidding me??? I've been waiting for this day all of my life! I am pretty sure I would be the best extra there ever was. I have had the vision in my head already for years where I would be sitting at a small table for two in the back of a restaurant carrying on the most realistic looking conversation of all time. If they offered Oscars for that, I am pretty sure I could win it.



But unfortunately, my definition of "extra" and their definition of "extra" are two totally different definitions. His definition of "extra" was me playing his wife and laying in bed next to him while he gets hit in the face with a pie.



Huh. But I've practiced in my head having a fake conversation in the background for years. I don't think that will help me out with reacting to "my husband" getting hit in the face by a pie. Not quite the same role.



But I had kinda already said alright to doing it before he defined what it was that I was doing. So to back out then was going to be a little hard. Plus, who can turn down a part that might or might-not land them on the front page of Funny or Die? And who knows, maybe it was going to just as easy as talking in the background. And what if that was my only chance in life to get such a role, I'd sure regret not taking it when I could.



So I agreed. Then he told me what the skit was. They were making fun of Bam (from Jackass) and how over-the-top ridiculous he is with his pranks. Current/former interest was going to be playing Bam's dad and I was going to be playing Bam's mom, April. As Emily pointed out, I should feel so honored that when they needed to cast someone as Bam's mom that they thought of me. Truly, it is an honor to get to play someones not-so-MILF looking mom. (To those that have gotten that one email, that I don't know the name of, they really DO need a special font for sarcasm.)



While we swam in the lake we discussed my upcoming role. Emily and Jessica said I should practice how I'd react with them then. My first try, they broke out in laughter and said, "whatever you do, don't do that!"



Take two ended in, "well that was better, but still terrible!"



By take three we were all laughing so hard that it wasn't even possible to continue practicing. Alright, enough practice. Maybe I would pull out the Oscar winning move on the fly or with a little coaching from the guys?



Then the next horror sunk in. WHAT THE HECK WAS I GOING TO WEAR FOR SUCH A ROLL??? I don't own a single pair of matching pajamas and I wear t-shirts to sleep in every night. AND all of those t-shirts are either from some college function, a race I've run or the school I work at. None of those sound anywhere appropriate or fitting for the role of a mom!



So my friends recommended I swing by Goodwill and pick up something. I agreed it was the better option. Shopping there reminds me of why I only go there to look for things for these types of occasions (something themed). Talk about some gross looking clothes! I finally found one outfit that could possibly pass as mom/not too embarrassing to wear in front of the guys. It didn't exactly have perfectly matching pants. But I found something that would work. I ended up with a baby blue satin button down long sleeved shirt with blue and white plaid pants.



Just as I was about to go over there I panicked, how big of a nerd was I for going out and buying an outfit for such a stupid part (well as they'd see it, to me it is the most important part of their whole film)? So after talking with my roommate, we decided my story would be that I had a crazy Aunt and she always gives me hand-me-downs. I had gotten the outfit from her.



Now you should know, when I get nervous about something I stop talking. And I was nervous about my stupid little role. I mean, I know these guys, but I know them at the bars and at parties. I don't know them in their place of work. I was like a fish out of water. They all know what they are doing and how to work with each other and do this stuff. I have no clue! And I was the only girl there with all six of those guys. I've never been there by myself with all of them! Then I had to go change and put on these old lady looking pajamas (to which they commented on and I froze, forgot the story and said thanks, OUCH). The guy playing Bam, Pat was doing some method acting (I can only hope) and was asking me all kinds of weird inappropriate questions. Lets just say by this point I probably looked like a deer in headlights going into this thing.



See all I wanted when I went over there was to hear some of the typical movie making lines like; "And action!"

"Cut!"

"That's a wrap."

"Quiet on the set."



And I really wanted to see someone standing around with one of those microphones over your head and they'd have the ear phones on. I also wanted to see one of those black and white things that they snap when they say "Action!" And maybe a directors chair.



But I didn't get to see any of those things. In fact, I don't think there was a director. Maybe the guy manning the camera was, he did tell me just before we shot the scene, "This is how April talks," and started talking in a high pitched voice. But no one gave me lines to say. They told me his name was going to be Slam, but that was it.


WHAT??? How creative do I have to be? Do they know that the last acting role I had was in Third Grade when I played Little Miss Muffet? I know these both involve screaming, but come on!



So anyways, we had to go into the bedroom (which he literally spent five seconds cleaning up his room, which I dare call it clean) and lay in the bed (scandalous). "Slam" said some stuff to the camera outside the bedroom door then he busts in and smacks a pie in "dad's" face. I seriously froze up and, I am not even kidding, reverted back to the acting I did in the first take in the lake (the one that my friends thought was horrible). And just to make it better, they had OBVIOUSLY wanted me to say something, at least scream. But I couldn't so much as manage to make a peep! Current/Former Interest did a lot of funny reacting to the pie and "Slam." I just did a lot of squinting and looking away.



OH IT WAS HORRIBLE. They didn't say anything about my poor acting skills though. They just said the whole thing was funny. They immediately watched it back, but I couldn't see it. So I guess when it airs it will be a surprise to me as to how I look.



And that was it, I guess they are one take pros. Or due to the pie factor, they only wanted to do one take. (Or better yet, maybe they decided to do another one without Bam's mom. That would be fine by me! Cause I think my poor acting making it on Funny or Die might actually make me want to die.)



I left their place shortly after (they still had more filming to do, and I OBVIOUSLY was not going to be any help) and just laughed the whole way home. And to think I actually made a special trip to Goodwill for an outfit for that! I think I got the acting out of my system!



Well unless they need someone to sit at the two person table and carry on a conversation. That I WOULD be good at.



Or if they wanted someone to react to a spider who "sat down beside her," I might be alright.



But I hope, for all of our sakes, they don't ask me to ever do a "small part" (as I would officially call it) again. Life's just too short to stress out that much!