This Story IS Real

So my ability to tell a true story from a fake story has failed me again. I could be the poster child for a gullible person...unfortunately.

Or maybe this is the new direction my blog could go in. I could tell stories on my blog and the readers would have to guess whether it is a real or fake story.

But I am not going to do that. Mostly because I stole that idea from last nights "How I Met Your Mother" which is a show I have started to really like recently. But they played a game where they would have to guess after a guys story whether he was a little kid or drunk. It was pretty funny.

But me re-telling a fake story on my blog is not funny. Kinda embarrassing actually.

But not as embarrassing as this next story. Which effectively is both embarrassing for my student and myself as a teacher.

It's a big rule at my school that you cannot say no to a kid that asks to go to the bathroom. BUT once you have the same ten kids going every single day, you start to try to bend that rule. So for my classes (do bear in mind they are only an hour long), I have a "rule of thumb," so I'd call it, that they SHOULD only go once a week. If someone does ask for a second time, I NEVER say no, I just say, "you already went once this week." And if they put up any sort-of an argument or have any suspicious look on their face, I ask if it's an emergency and will let them go.

So this really sweet girl asked to go to the bathroom, I said my typical line and she just walked away. I had about a million other things going on and didn't have time to think about it.

Then she raised her hand and asked to go to the nurse. I got my pass out and asked her to come to my desk. But she wouldn't get up. So I told her again, still didn't move. Finally, the other kids were like, "I think she wants you to come here." So I get there and I say, "don't you want to go to the nurse?"

Her response, "I already threw up in my seat, I am sitting in it." So I told her she would have to get up in order to go to the nurse about it, which she clearly (and understandably) didn't want to do. But I didn't know what else I could do, it was still the first five minutes of class. Even if she did sit in it the entire class, how would she get out of there un-noticed before the next class?

So we got her out of the room and on her way to the nurse. Poor thing has a chair in the front of the classroom on the complete opposite side of the room from the door. As she walked down the hall I noticed her entire bottom and legs were wet. Her chair literally had a standing puddle in it and it had spread to the floor all around her. Then I realized, she didn't throw up, she peed in her pants. She said she threw up because that would be less embarrassing.

At this point I was trying to keep her embarrassment to a minimum. But what was I going to do, leave a huge wet puddle in the front of my classroom for everyone to see what happened? So I had to call the janitor, and of course, they had to bring their HUGE mop bucket.

Then, as the janitor was still not-so-discreetly cleaning the floor, the nurse sent the girl back to my class! What?!? How could the nurse just change her clothes and send her back without thinking how EMBARRASSING that would be for the girl? Can't they let her sit in there for at least the remainder of that class? Since the janitor was still cleaning her mess I told her to move to another seat, conveniently one was open next to the nicest girl in my class.

I did hold the girl after class and apologized profusely to the girl. I also explained that she needs to let someone know when it is an emergency or just leave in that case. I was really scared I was going to get an angry parent phone call. Worse yet, my principal would get the call. But by some miracle, that never happened.

(My honest thought is the girl actually told the truth about the opportunities she had to go with having PE before my class, being in the hallway five minutes before and not just saying it was an emergency.)

But one positive thing, the other kids never freaked out or said anything (that I am aware of) about it. And I watched how they interacted with her the next day, she was smiling as she talked to the other kids that sit around her and they didn't act any different towards her. So I am glad that my students do have enough maturity to handle that!

After it is all said-and-done, I have gone over what I did and what I should have done a thousand times. The only "training" I had prior to this instance is literally Billy Madison, "you ain't cool unless you pee your pants!" Which I am glad I didn't resort to that method.

Now that story, my friends, is a true story.

Unfortunately.