Cruise 2012 - Part 4: Cozumel

And if you thought it took me a long time to make that last post, well this one is out of control.

But I made a commitment and I plan on keeping it.  No matter how irrelevant it now is.

So I think we also stopped in Cozumel this summer.  The hardest thing about this post, now that it's been so long, is the fact that our cruise the year before also stopped in Cozumel so keeping one separate from the other is kinda tricky.  But I'll do my best...

So this time in Cozumel we bought an excursion to take a Jeep tour of the island.  We first met our tour guide, I am sure of the fact that I once knew his name, but now 150 new students names that I've learned later, I have no friggin' clue what his name was!

So what happens is about every four people jumps into a jeep and we all follow each other around the island.  They are stick-shift, so all of us ladies were out on driving.  And I felt bad about that.  Until we got to the tequila tasting part.  And then I just didn't feel much at all.  

But we drove through downtown.

And then we drove through the ghetto.  The best thing I saw there (but unfortunately wasn't quick enough to picture- and maybe a little gun-shy from Jamaica) was several families of four on a moped.  I am not sure I would have believed it had I not seen it for myself.  But I just thought to myself, man us Americans with our SUV's must look crazy to these people.  Why put your family of four in an eight seater when you can put your family of four in a one seater???

(I hope you hear the sarcasm.)

The tour guide whom I'm going to give a name to make this easier, and I don't want to sound racist, so I'll call him John.  Well, John promised from the beginning we would stop somewhere that we could all go to the bathroom.  But what John left out was the fact that the place that we would stop to go to the bathroom was literally called "Pee Pee Station," with a visual in case somehow "Pee Pee Station" didn't translate to English.

Classy.

But they tried REALLY hard to make this place a great stop for Americans.  They even had a replica Mayan village that John, like a good tour guide, walked us through.

I mean, they had real people out there working doing work that the Mayans would do.  They gave us a piece of rope the guy made out of agave in front of our eyes and the lady fed us some awful delicious spread she made that went on tortillas (and probably 3 months ago I knew the name of this, but it looked like hummus, however it did not taste like it).  

After the Pee Pee Station we drove on to the tequila tasting.  I would never in a million years driving in Mexico would have stopped at this place on my own.  But that's what this kind of tour is for, right?

  

 This place was like going on a wine tour.  But instead you had to fight through through tequila shots, heat and the fact that no actual tequila was made at the place.  Apparently tequila is like champagne in the fact that all tequila is made in Tequila, Mexico.  

It was still interesting in the fact that they told you about how tequila was made, what makes a better tequila and they let you try the variations of tequila.  I'm not knocking the place or the tequila, it was damn delicious and if I ever go back to Cozumel I will be visiting and buying tequila from this place!

But there was this guy, and we'll call him Bob.  But Bob was the tequila tour guide.

And see the thing about the whole Jeep tour was that this was in June and these Jeeps didn't have A/C.  Even the ever so glamorous "Pee Pee Station" didn't have A/C.  So our tour group was melting and dying.  So John promised us there would be A/C on the tequila tour.  But what John didn't know was that this doesn't exactly qualify as A/C for us Americans (man I sound like a stuck up bitch with that last statement, but it needs to be said before you understand my next segment).

So we did the tequila tasting, where I learned that there is every flavored tequila: bad tequila, good tequila, bailey's flavored tequila, margarita flavored, peppermint schnapps, and many others that I can no longer remember. 

Maybe it was the tequila hitting me, but I think it was mostly the lack of A/C hitting me but I was sweating profusely.  And I kept trying to stay on top of the sweat.  But there comes a point where you just give up and no longer care and you let the sweat roll down your face and you accept it as just what is going to happen.  

Or maybe that's just me.

(And I realize this is a bad post to just get out now, the weekend a cool front comes through and you no longer remember what it is like to be so miserably hot.)

No matter what you think about it, just know that Bob came up to me after the tour to talk about my purchase and told me to "hang tight" and pulled out a cloth napkin and patted every inch of my face dry.

In front of the entire tour group.

And with his own personal handkerchief.

And he recommended that I get in front of the "A/C" for a little while to cool down.  This is where I reminded him that I was in front of the so-called "A/C" for the entire tequila tasting, but the American version of "A/C" had thrown me off from tolerating the Mexican version of "A/C" so therefore my body was merely rebelling and reacting to the switch.

But I bought some tequila, got in the Jeep and cooled down with mother natures A/C.  Which is MUCH better than Mexico's A/C, in case you weren't already aware.

Next stop was a restaurant and some time on the beach.  

After lunch and some beach time we made our way back to the cruise ship.  We finished circling the rest of the island in a rather uneventful trip.  A little shopping and we were back on the cruise ship ready for a fun trip back - which I pretty much already blogged about everything eventful that happened on there so don't hold your breath on a part 5 (thank goodness)!  

And by some miracle I finished this series of posts!!!