Only In Texas...

This past weekend I ventured up to Dallas/Ft. Worth. I may have grown up in the area and I have long ago come to the realization that everything there isn't just "15 minutes" away like I thought growing up.

But I found out this weekend when I changed the "15 minutes" that I only changed it to "30 minutes." And that is still far off the mark!

I learned my lesson on that as I drove back and forth twice in HOUR LONG drives between the two cities.

I seriously thought my GPS was broken or that I had it on "walking" vs "driving" again.

(Ever done that? It will FREAK you out.)

Anyways, I drove in on Friday night where I went with my college friends to the Ft. Worth Stock Show & Rodeo.

Which is NOTHING like the Houston Rodeo, which should just be called Houston concert series. Because I am tired of every person I tell that I went to the rodeo saying, "oh yeah, who'd you see?"

Let me use a cliche here, "Houston, you have a problem (with mis-wording things)!"

But I don't mean to pick on Houston here, I have a feeling they are already feeling a little jealous at the moment about a certain bowl that D/FW is hosting soon...

But I haven't been to the rodeo since I was a kid. It was a lot like I remembered... plus beer!

There was something that made me feel at home with they way the announcer spoke. Just that "good ole' boy" kinda talk. You can only find a guy like that in "Texas, America."

(His words, not mine.)

(He felt the need to squeeze that into normal talk. Chelsea and I both picked up on this strange talk immediatly and laughed histarically.)

After the rodeo we went to Natalie and David's loft in downtown Ft. Worth. We played A LOT of Catch Phrase (or "Party Phrase" as my phone calls it).

And as if that wasn't enough for one evening, we went to a bar that is literally located downstairs from their loft. I wish I could re-cap that one for you, but all I remember by that point in the evening is a lot of cigarette smoke, I talked some of their heads off and I took at least one shot.

Heck, I don't even remember this picture Chelsea took when we were playing Catch Phrase back at the loft. But I was really fired up about something!

The next morning Natalie, Chelsea and I had big plans to go to the gym early and workout. I don't know why it was such a shock to us when that goal didn't get accomplished. I mean, who would have thought that the night before we'd drink too much to get a simple task like working out accomplished?

Instead Chelsea and I did something similar, we sat on her couch and watched movies. Much like training for a half marathon, only no physical movement at all.

But Chelsea's a trooper cause she was not the one hung over at all, but she was kind enough to loan a couch and watch a movie with me.

Which I stayed on way too long. And after an unexpected hour long drive I found myself rushing to get ready for the next portion of my weekend that I was to spend with high school friends:

The Miss America Pageant!

Well, maybe not the real Miss America Pageant. But the murder mystery, Miss America Pageant themed, birthday dinner party.

(I'm not sure how to put all of that together in one sentence.)

But my friend Shannon decided that for her Birthday she wanted to have a murder mystery dinner party. And the theme of it was a Miss America Pageant, where they told you to wear an "old bridesmaid's dress." Which is why Emily and I tried those on last weekend.

Even though I am a narrow miss from the movie "27 Dresses" with how many weddings I've actually been in, I had to re-consider all those dresses when I saw who I was playing: Miss New Jersey.

Which makes me immediatly think Jersey Shore and Snookie.

Which is funny because I have actually never seen that show.

Anyhow, as luck would have it, my roommate out of no-where offered me a skimpy dress recently and I immediately thought, "that looks like something Snookie would wear!"

Which is why I wore THAT dress Saturday night.

However, Miss Alabama put one of my old bridesmaids dresses to good use (thanks Jill for picking a "southern" looking dress)! Here's a picture of Allison (another high-school friend and Judge Julie), myself (Snookie-fied), Shannon (B-day girl and Patty Pageant) and Emily (Miss Alabama).

I never thought that after ten years of being out of high school all four of us would be taking a picture together in formal dresses - for non-wedding purposes!

But the Murder Mystery was pretty fun. Shannon bought it from a company online and they send you PDF files of every thing you need. She just printed it and put it where it belonged (and actually managed to not cheat). And it made a good reason to take LOTS of pictures with Knives (most were not put here... for your consideration).

(Why do Shannon and myself look like Vampires comparted to Allison and Emily???)

Everyone got two envelopes and when you opened the first one it told you to tell certain people things and ask people things. The person who was getting murdered figured out they were getting murdered the first envelope, the second envelope told the killer their fate. Miss Texas did die after the first envelope was opened...

I found this portion of the evening awkward (in a fun and could be fixed if I did this again kind-of way). Some because we all just started saying "not so nice" things across the table at people we barely knew. But MOSTLY because I had to, with the opening of every envelope, tell the ONLY MINOR (17-years-old) at the party how much I hated her and that I knew she killed my sister.

These are statements I usually reserve for people only of the drinking age.

Or for no one at all.

But all the while of this mystery, Shannon's husband, Chris, fed us awesome food! He is a chef at Silver Fox (or Silver Dollar as I kept calling it) and his Birthday present to her was to bring home the food from the restaurant and cook it for us for dinner! It was a five course AMAZING meal, here's the menu:

I attempted to take picture of every course of the meal. But as luck would have it, he brought home LOTS of wine from the restaurant too and somehow after the second course... I forgot. But here's the Beef Crustada and Spicy Creole Mustard Sauce and Roasted Potato and Leek Soup:

But I am sure you know what a salad, sorbet, a steak dinner and some cupcakes look like even without the pictures.

Anyways, despite my best efforts to be the killer, guess the correct killer or collect the most money: I did none of the above. But the category I did not even remember existed, "Dressed to Kill" was my winning ticket in the end! Snookie, I do not know you, but you done me well!

And THE BEST PART OF THE EVENING, the one that Shannon nor myself had any clue was going to happen was that REDNECK STEVE showed up to the party! You would have to be a Kidd Kraddick in the Morning fan (like myself) to know him. Which Emily is not, and she asked me later why she doesn't remember him being on the show. And I had to explain that he wasn't actually ON the show, just mentioned on the show and co-owns bars with Big Al who's on the show.

(But even that is TOTALLY enough for me to get excited about him being there!)

But he was HOT for an older guy. Too bad he was there with his girlfriend.

And that he has a son almost my age.

Anyways, two years ago Shannon's husband Chris, Shannon, Emily, myself and a few other people made a trip to Playa del Carmen. And while we were there, we went to Big Al & Redneck Steve's bar (or I DRAGGED them kicking and screaming, but whatever, I am glad I did it!). So I had (or begged) them to take a picture with myself and Redneck Steve.

Only in Texas (America) would someone go to an actual rodeo on Friday, see Miss Texas murdered on Saturday and run home excited on Sunday that they saw a man named, "Redneck Steve!"